You deserve a man who shouts from the roof tops that he is with you. That he gets to touch you, kiss you, share your bed and your life and your care.

You deserve to be celebrated, not hidden.

You deserve a man who introduces you to his family and friends as more than his “ friend” if you are- more than his friend. You are more than his friend if he kisses you.

You deserve to be introduced proudly, not to stand there like an invisible woman. Waiting silently to be made into a real part of his life.

You deserve a man who appreciates that you allow him time to try to fix his mistakes. You deserve a man who allows you time to fix yours.

You deserve a man who sees you as irreplaceable.

You deserve a man who, if he wants help with his work, respects that you would love to but need time and can not do it the second he wants and drop everything. You deserve to be given time to show him how much you enjoy helping him.

You deserve a man who thinks speaking to you and hearing your voice and seeing your face is important. You deserve a man who hears you When you say “ I am not a texter”.

You deserve a man who when told that you have severe trust issues.. and then you tell him how much you trust him, does not betray your trust. You deserve a man who can recognize that you had to find the faith to rebuild a special space in your heart that you thought was lost forever, for him.

You deserve to have his family get to know you. You deserve to have him bring you in to his world. You deserve a man who makes an effort to make you know you are not a peripheral or a satellite to his world.

You deserve a man who will show his children you are important and there is a need to make you feel welcome after a long time of dating. You deserve a man who will show you affection in front of his children. You deserve a man who will try to build bridges between his kids and you.

You deserve to have a man who acknowledges that he has been let in to your world, met your family and welcomed.

You deserve to exist as more than a person kept in space for his pleasure. Whether it is for his comfort, his work or his bed. You deserve to experience the entirety of his life.

You deserve to be taken out. You deserve to go to nice places.

You deserve a man who takes responsibility for himself. Financially and emotionally and does not declare bankruptcy or foreclosure in either sense. He should bear the responsibility for his life. You deserve a man who does not walk away when something is difficult.

You deserve a man who does not pull you into a crisis for emotional support and leave you hanging worrying about it. The man should value your emotional investment.

You deserve a man who doesn’t text you someone died of cancer as you drive to get a biopsy. You deserve a man who is sensitive.

You deserve a man who hears you have cancer after three years of meaningful dating and considers waiting at least a week to dump you. You deserve compassion and empathy and respect.

You deserve a man who would not make you sleep under a giant picture and surrounded by photos of his deceased wife. Especially when You respected his life before you and his children’s mother and asked only in the bedroom for the pictures to be taken down.

You deserve a man who does not compare you or shame you with his deceased wife. A man who does not say “ Well she(insert name) would do it. “ “ It was not a problem for ( insert name).”

You deserve a man who is grateful for allowing him to fumble and stumble and mess up because he was emerging from grief.

You deserve a man who would not let you worry and wonder and feel uncomfortable that you are sleeping in the spot on the same mattress where his wife died.

You deserve a man who does not post online,three years after he started seeing you, longing posts about his deceased wife, art he has made about his deceased wife. Posts he does not speak to you about.

You deserve a man who does not lie to you that he would never do what your Ex husband did. You deserve a man who means what he says when he says he would never look online for sex.

You deserve the second chance, third chance, fourth chance you gave him.

You deserve a man who is with you for more reasons than your big boobs and sex.

You deserve to know what kind of relationship you are in. You deserve honesty. You deserve the honesty you give a man to be reciprocated.

You deserve to know if you need to get tested for std’s. You deserve to know if he cheated. You deserve to know if he saw and slept with other women while he was with you.

You deserve a man who does not solicit sex online.

You deserve to never be called “friends with benefits” if you never ever in a million years would be “ friends with benefits”.

You deserve to not be the “transition” woman after his wife passed.

You deserve a man who dresses up for you once in a while.

You deserve to be warned that you are about to see him all over online publicly declaring his new relationship as “bliss” calling her by name publicly online which he never did in 3 years with you, less than 2 months after being dumped when you told him you have cancer. You deserve so much better than that.

You deserve a man who recognizes a global pandemic will keep you from having sex for a few months. You deserve a man who will wait and not look elsewhere if you’ve said I love you and I am here and I’m worried for you and your kids and parents in this global pandemic. You deserve commitment.

You deserve a conversation after 3 years not a cold declaration on a computer screen.

After 3 years of insanely patient care with a widower, you deserved better.